Thirteen Things I Want to Remember

Over ten years of knowing her, my friend Beth taught me many things by example. Here are a few that I hope never to forget.

Thirteen Things Beth Taught Me . . .

1. Be real. You will get the “real” back from people.
2. Make fun. It is different from expecting to have fun.
3. Play games.
4. Greet each day. Greet the people in your day.
5. Find something funny and get silly with it. Collect smiles.
6. Find something interesting and run with it. Take someone along.
7. Learn to take a week to eat one chocolate bar.
8. Care about what you do.
9. Love your work but love yourself more.
10. Indulge in your favorite color. Put it everywhere.
11. Read literature, write poetry, sing, dance, and make music. Teach others.
12. Buy your grandchildren matching pajamas and have pajama parades.
13. Believe in yourself. It helps those around you believe in themselves.


Beth died last Monday. She was 64 years old. Her resiliency and spirit was evident during her first bout with breast cancer at age 42. While coping with divorce and raising five children with few funds,she determined to finish her B.A, and went on to earn a master's degree.M.A. She launched her career as an educator, and saw to it that each of her five children got their college degrees, too.

She triumphed over her second bout with cancer, and her first two grandchildren were born. Four years ago, she had a third recurrence of cancer. Although she came close to losing that battle, she emerged cancer-free. Three more grandchildren came into her life, two on the same day! What a happy day that was. It was a day we had feared she wouldn't have.

The score then was Beth - 3, Cancer - 0. She was a winner. Then, this fourth and final time, she brought to the process all the wisdom and patience in her power. You could see and feel that power.

One could say she did not win this one. Or, one could say she surely did. Who would not consider a score of 3 to 1 a winning score. And who could say that gleaning an additional 24 years of life is not indeed a triumph and a gift? Surely Beth would see it as a win. It takes a certain kind of grace to know this. Beth had that kind of grace.